The Differences between Pregnancies
Through three pregnancies, I have felt extremely lucky. All three pregnancies were absolutely welcomed and at a time in my life when I felt ready for them with a committed father and dad in the picture.
The first and the third pregnancy especially were easy, I was healthy and able to stay fit and basically had no problems. During my second pregnancy I had about a month with some hip issues. Besides, this was another healthy pregnancy.
In this post, I am writing about how I experienced the differences between my three pregnancies. As they were easy it will be from a place of mostly happy memories. If you’re experience has not been as positive or easy, my heart goes out to you. Please decide for yourself whether you want to read on or not.
This being said, these are the differences I will remember from my pregnancies:
The Magic
Oh, the magic of the first pregnancy. The journey of pregnancy is often described as magical, and this magic is perhaps most intensely felt during a woman’s first pregnancy. The moment the first positive pregnancy test appears is like no other. It’s a moment filled with a whirlwind of emotions—excitement, joy, and even a little bit of fear of the unknown. For many, it feels as though life has suddenly shifted into a new, uncharted territory. The anticipation of what lies ahead fills each day with a special kind of wonder.
This initial experience of pregnancy is imbued with a sense of novelty and mystery. There’s an almost childlike excitement in imagining what being pregnant will be like. Every flutter or kick from the baby feels miraculous, each new development in the pregnancy brings a fresh wave of awe. You begin to picture your growing baby, imagining their tiny fingers and toes, their first smile, and the sound of their laughter. You wonder what it will feel like to cradle them in your arms for the first time.
The magic doesn’t stop there. It extends to the broader transformation that pregnancy brings—becoming a mother, creating a new family. The possibilities seem endless as you think about the future with your child. You dream of the family traditions you will start, the lessons you will teach, and the love that will grow. Each day of that first pregnancy is a step closer to a new identity, to a life that will forever be changed in the most profound ways.
The first pregnancy is a unique chapter, where every experience is fresh, and every day is filled with new discoveries. It is a time of anticipation and wonder, where anything truly seems possible.
The Care and Attention
It’s your first pregnancy. Everyone is so excited for you. The experience of a first pregnancy often comes with an abundance of care and attention. When you announce that you’re expecting, excitement radiates from everyone around you—family, friends, and even colleagues. The focus is entirely on you and your growing baby, and you’re showered with congratulations, advice, and support. This collective enthusiasm creates a warm and nurturing environment, making you feel cherished and cared for every step of the way.
With no other children to divide your attention, you can fully immerse yourself in this unique experience. There’s time to rest, sleep without interruption, and indulge in self-care that might become rarer with subsequent pregnancies. After a long day at work, you have the freedom to relax, knowing that you can prioritize your needs.
This period allows you to bond with your baby, dream about the future, and prepare for the life-changing event ahead. The focused care and attention during a first pregnancy are invaluable, offering a chance to truly savor the experience and embrace the profound changes that are coming.
The Learning Curve
The first pregnancy obviously brings a lot of questions and therefore learnings with it. Taking in all these new experiences and information were a great feeling during the first pregnancy. This feeling was less prevalent during the other two as there was simply not as much new to learn anymore.
There are three parts to the learning curve: The pregnancy, birth and the administrative and financial side.
The pregnancy
After I found out I was pregnant, we got the books and we had the app. My husband gifted me some books for my birthday which was just after we found I was pregnant for the first time. The learning was exponential and so fun during the first pregnancy. Compared to that, I hardly looked into anything during my second and third pregnancy. There was less time at hand to do these things but it still left me feeling a little as if I wasn’t doing enough for the pregnancies.
“I’m pregnant” by Leslie Regan, MD was a great guide to learn about the development of the baby and what else was going on with my body. It also talked about what tests would be recommended and choices for birth. It’s written with a focus on the US so that some parts weren’t relevant to me. It was still a great guide.
I used the app ‘Flow’. It was fun to see the progression of the pregnancy almost gasified, receive information nuggets, being able to track your weight, seeing a picture of what your baby would like during a certain week, etc. But we now know, if you don’t pay for an app, you’re paying with your data and information and therefore, I wouldn’t recommend using an app anymore.
Birth
I wanted to have a natural birth. For my first pregnancies and for the other two as well. I did a lot of research to find out how to best prepare for an easy and fast natural birth.
‘Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth’ was so enlightening and empowering to me. I have gifted and recommended it to pregnant friends multiple times. I learned so much from this book during my first pregnancy. While I didn’t need the learning, I did pick the book up again during my other pregnancies, like a re-assurance that the next natural birth would go well, too.
Hypnobabies was another very educational and beneficial source of information for me during my first pregnancy and in preparation for a natural birth. (Read my review of their Home Study Online Course here.) The learning effect was gone for pregnancy 2 and 3 but I used the affirmations and sound tracks religiously during the third trimester of all pregnancies.
Administrative and Financial Issues
I don’t know what it’s like in your country but I would say, start preparing these before even thinking about getting pregnant to not miss anything. The administrative and financial side of having a baby was another huge learning during the first pregnancy. As I had never looked into anything related to having a baby in Japan, we had to educate ourselves on everything: pregnancy in Japan, maternity leave in Japan, how to apply for maternity leave in Japan, costs of pregnancy and having a baby in Japan, financial benefits when having a baby in Japan, and so on.
I was relieved to have this knowledge after the first pregnancy and that it was so much easier for the second and third pregnancy.
The Time
Before my first maternity leave, I often heard people urging me to enjoy it as much as possible, almost as if it was a matter of life or death. I didn’t fully grasp the significance of their advice until after I had my first baby. During that first maternity leave, which in Japan allows you to take six weeks off before your due date, there was a unique freedom. It was just me, with no one else to take care of and no kindergarten drop-offs to plan. I had the luxury of spending my days exactly how I wanted, without the constant worry of a little human depending on me. Of course, I was preparing for birth and getting the newborn essentials ready, but the sense of uninterrupted time was priceless. It was a rare and precious period that I realized would never come again in quite the same way.
The Body
During the first pregnancy I experienced more practice contractions. I also had a few weeks of intense chest or rib cage pains on the left side. The doctors always just told that it was due to the growing baby and I was left with just lifting my left arm to try and make more space. I experienced some of this pain during the second and hardly any of it during the third pregnancy.
During my second pregnancy I faced terrible hip pains from around 7 months. I was still at work and the way I was working in the home office and moving less (due to CoVid restrictions) had not been good to me. Going to the chiropractor, making sure I balanced my movement and just moving more in general helped to reduce the pain to almost zero. Funny enough a lot of my friends told me about hip pains during their second pregnancy, too. If you are planning number two, let this be your warning to take care of your body!
During my third pregnancy I was running after two under 3 years old, breastfeeding one of them and working full time. This kept me on my toes and moving so that I lost quite some weight at the beginning. Due to the experience of the second pregnancy’s hip pains, I was very motivated to stay fitter during the pregnancy. Kayla Itsine’s had just launched her pregnancy work out on the Sweat App. I followed it very closely and it was probably the fittest of my pregnancies.
No matter what age you are having your first baby, your body will always be older when you are having your second baby. That alone can make difference.
Conclusion
No one pregnancy is going to feel like another. The reasons are not just physical but also mental. Don’t compare or judge one pregnancy to another. Embrace each pregnancy for the unique experience it will be at that point in your and your family’s life.
